Wondering

I wonder what my life would have been (or not been as the case may be) if at a number of crucial junctures I had done something else than what I did. For example, I enrolled in law school in Washington DC with an eye to going into the FBI when I completed law school. One day I got up to DC early and decided to visit the personnel office of the FBI to see what my chances would be when I finished law school
Lo and behold, they had a big need for new agents at the time I walked into the office. I took a test, took another test, was interviewed, was re-interviewed and then interviewed by both of the prople who interviewed me earlier. End result, my application was accepted and they began doing the background checks and shortly after I got out of the Navy I got accepted into the FBI.

It was just luck that I hit the office at the right time when they needed Agents. It was just luck that I decided to go to DC in the morning instead of waiting for the evening class at the University.

Had I not gone at that time or had the need for agents not been as great or or or what would have happened afterwards. What alternative life would have been mine.

I did something with out a great deal of planning or forethought and it ended up changing the course of my life. Go figure!!!!

I can cite a number of similar incidents or occasions that changed the course of my life. I wonder then what life would have been if not for these forks in the road where I took one fork without advance planning, without pondering what might lie in the other direction.

Have you been there too??? Have we all been there and only realize it when the world turns out the way it did?

Wondering

I remember -2

This time I am going to remember things about my childhood...

I remember going to kindergarten at public school #77 (the local catholic school did not have a kindergarten). Shortly after I began attending some kid who was playing with the building blocks decided to hit me in the head with one...or did I hit some kid in the head with one...memories???

I remember Nativity of the BVM (that's Blessed Virgin Mary for those uninitiated) school. It was on Albany Street about as far from my house as my mailbox is at this house. Brisk walking would get me there in about 2 minutes. My usual pace was 45 seconds. Why the hurry???

We were expected to attend the 8:15 mass at the Church (same name), sit with our class and then march in line to the school. In the afternoon when we returned from lunch we lined up with our classmates out in front of the school (boys that is), girls lined up at the side door of the school and when the bell rang we proceeded in silence to our rooms. There was usually a class monitor at the head of the line who led us.

I remember Pat the janitor who worked in the basement furnace room. He stoked the furnace in the winter and cleaned after classes let out. The furnace room was also the place where we went to "clap" erasers, i.e. bang the erasers together to get the chalk dust out of them. Any of you remember "clapping erasers"? If the weather was good we did it outside at the side of the building and often made designs on the wall. Of course that was not the expected "clapping procedure" but much more fun than just banging them together.

Clapping erasers was on of the chores that went to a teachers pet. I don't know why except that it meant you didn't have to file out of the school with everyone else. You got to stay behind and help Sister clean the room. OH Goody...

I remember one time throwing the erasers against the side of the building to beat the dust out and one of them went up and landed on a low (one story) roof outside the entrance to the boiler room.

Being in grave fear of returning without the requisite number of erasers, we (Paul Tardif and I who were co-conspirators ) tried without success to scale the wall to the roof and finally snuck a ladder out of the bioiler room when Pat wasn't looking and retrieved it that way. Such adventures?

Perhaps tomorrow or the next day I will remember something else and bore you with it.

I remember

Eight ten on a cold wet autuum evening. I am waiting...waiting for ...well the song says waiting for the world.

I remember...and this is why I have decided to blog again after such a long hiatus (that's fancy talk for an interruption or pause).

I remember when I first saw Joan through the window of the nursery.

I remember when I first saw Joe in a room off the delivery room with an oxygen mask on his tiny face.

I remember when I first saw Kate emerge and when I first held her in the delivery room.

I remember your mother on all these occasions. I remember her wanting a cigarette in her room after Joan was born and how I held Joan and took her out of the room while her mother had a smoke.
I remember her look when she woke and asked how Joe was.

I remember the smile when she heard Kate cry and how she held out her arms to take her back from me. How we sat together in the recovery room.

I remember how we planned for Joe to be a natural birth and how in the end the dr. insisted on an epidural and then administered it wrong so that you mother was paralized and Joe was delivered with a forcepts and then given oxygen. I remember the marks on his head.

I remember holding all of you as very tiny babies and sitting in the rocker and watching you and wishing that I could make every moment of your lives as happy as mine was sitting there watching you. I remember carrying you around the house in the snuggli...I remember taking all of you to the Mall to the carousel and into the Smithsonian Museum. I remember the look of awe as you saw the giant Mamoth in the lobby of the science building. I remember your laughter on the carousel.

I remember Joan climbing out of the crib and refusing to go to sleep. I remember coming home from work and getting down on the floor to play with all of you.

I remember Joan pulling all the books out of the bookcase until we filled the bottom shelf with her books and then she pulled up to get our books out of the upper shelves.

I remember Joe playing hide and seek...standing in the toilet and thinking I couldn't see him.

I remember playing on Saturday morning in the basement on Cheverly Ave when I would fall asleep counting for the hide and seek game and being roused by Joan. "Daddy, you're not looking"

I remember the little play house in back of the house in Cheverly and how the termites had made the floor unsafe.

I remember the slide I made in the backyard at Cheverly...from a piece of awning that blew off during a storm...

I could go on and on with the memories...happy...sad...but all a part of my life and yours.

So maybe there will be more of this some time in the near future.

Remember to enjoy every moment of your lives...whether hard or pleasant,enjoy...enjoyment a state of mind that says that I will...no matter what happens..see the brighter side and enjoy.

I remember Joe playing garbage man in his room...dumping everything on his bed so he wouldn't have to go to sleep. I remember sitting at the top of the stairs in cheverly Md. so I wouldn't have to go all the way up to put Joe back into bed after he got up for the one millionth time.

I remember Kate not wanting to sleep at night after her two am feeding and me walking around with her in the Snuggli and her looking up at me and refusing to fall asleep.

I remember going to work with baby smell on my clothes after hugging all of you goodbye in the morning.

I remember so many things that you brought to my life and I thank you for all of them...Love, Dad